PERILOUS EVENTS=INFINITE BONDS Have you ever known people or have struggled with relationships that just seemed to stay so superficial, manipulative, or just plain frustrating. "I'm sorry" is never heard, felt or expressed. Why can't certain people love us unconditionally or act with gratitude, rejoice in our successes or help us up when we fall. Why do some have this huge capacity to love when others, well, let's just say...are missing the chip! I was reading one of my devotionals and a verse struck me right between the eyes! Luke 7:36-50 "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven-for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." I have to admit I scratched my head a few times and then it hit me! If you haven't read my Crocodile infested water story...this would be a good time to stop and read it....or just read any story of how people were saved in life altering rescue. I listened intently as people described how they were rescued and how they felt about their rescuers. Listen closely, the depth of their emotions are powerful, their appreciation and gratitude so deep and meaningful, and the bond between the rescued and rescuer so deep that many continue life time relationships. The bond that I have with the people who survived our sunken boat and the rangers who rescued us is so difficult to understand because I haven't spoken to them since the incident, but the bond is deep! Lives are altered, relationships cherished, the big issues of yesterday fade into the gift of the now and the giver of the gift. The gift of survival because someone cared enough to grab you from the grip of death..sacrificially gave up their safety and sometimes their life for yours. Which brought me again square in the face of the truth of my relationships. People who are forgiven little, love little. How do these relate? If you have ever been like me and thought I was beyond a misstep because I made great decisions, then fell flat on your face and hit concrete, your love for the people who picked you up and cleaned your wounds is so much deeper than before the fall. Your appreciation for their lack of judgment, condemnation, scolding brought you to a place of healing and depth of relationship you never had before. I turned a corner with Jesus when I realized that in my greatest failures He brought me His greatest forgiveness, which in turn opened up the floodgates of love for in my failure he sought me out, picked me up and loved me. How do you not have depth of love for someone who gave a perfect life up for me? Great failure brings great forgiveness, and a special bond of love so much deeper because of my experience. This brings me back to those difficult relationships. Many people such as narcissists, perpetual victim mentality people, martyr types or pharisees (those who have it all together), or unhealthy emotional people just don't need forgiveness much if at all because they don't, can't or refuse to want to see their failure as an opportunity for a greater love relationship with the greatest love of all...WHEN WE FAIL, WE ASK FOR FORGIVENESS, A DEEPER GRATITUDE EXISTS AND A DEEP LOVE BOND DEVELOPS SOMETIMES WITH THE ONE HURT, OTHER TIMES WITH THE ONE THAT LOVES US DEEPER THAN THE DEPTH OF OUR FAILURE. WE WALK WITH A NEW CONFIDENCE AND ASSURANCE.  People who cannot forgive...cannot love....they are polar opposites and cannot coexist..forgive...don't keep drinking the poison and expecting someone else to die.

Runaway Bride=Vomiting Groom

Yep, I know it sounds like the perfect love story...ok, not really, but it is my story. I was visiting with a long time friend and we were discussing the wedding story that made headlines...my wedding story. If you have seen me on the talk show circuit, understand, this was before the talk shows were turned into incest stories and whose your mama stories. This story hit Cosmo, Golf Digest, National Inquirer (hilarious) and several major talk show and magazine headlines and how it came about what quite funny. My cousin worked at a very large mall in Houston and there was a woman who had written a book called, "There is no such thing as a perfect wedding." Sitting on her book signing table was a placecard that read 'Tell me your best wedding story." My cousin shared mine. Next day I received a call from a major talk show and I hung up 3 times before calling back and realizing someone found my story of interest. Within 2 days I was on a flight to New York to share on National Television my story. I was 22 at the time, engaged for a year to one of the funniest people I had met in college, a brit. He was incredibly charming with wit and intelligence. I fell in love, got engaged, traveled and met the parents, and planned my perfect wedding. He and I were graduating from University of Texas - go horns! - and planning the wedding that would take place on graduation weekend, the trip to England to live, and finishing moving arrangements. The Wedding: The plan was to be at the church for pictures before the ceremony and then we would have the ceremony and the reception afterwards. Everyone arrived, but no groom or groomsmen. Back in the day...dinosaur age, we had no cell phones or I probably would have said many things that day which a nice woman wouldn't say. We went ahead and had pictures with my family. I went into the back room and waited for word that my groom had arrived. Several minutes later my mother came in with a very strange look on her face and announced he was here. I asked if everything was ok and with a quick response of "yes", I was ushered into the church to prepare for my entrance. Walked with emotion down the aisle to see my red-faced groom (had to be so nervous) waiting for his beloved bride. I knelt down with him and took a good look at him. Yep, you guessed it he was completely inebriated! After shock and disbelief, I became downright angry. Are you kidding me??? My aunt got up and was singing a song so carefully chosen for the moment and the next thing I knew my groom was attempting to sing along. I pinched him, squeezed flesh until it had to have been bruised and threatened many unspeakable things to convince him to be quiet,however, nothing seem to silence him. He just kept saying "don't get mad" and attempted to echo the song. Needless to say, as the vows approached it became clearly evident and decided this was NOT happening today!!! A meeting was requested and I watched in horror as the familiar roll of the throat started in this huge body next to me. I pushed his head away and the expulsion of vomit began and continued relentlessly. The groomsmen and bridesmaids jumped back to avoid the splash on the marble altar. Shock and awe really doesn't adequately describe the scene. I attempted to depart and my dress was stuck under his knees, so I tugged and was finally released to run behind the altar to the dressing room. While asking my mother to get the dress off of me, I heard a huge bang. I was told he tried to get up and fell onto the altar. The priest so delicately announced that "weddings do not always turn out the way they should." Hmmm...interesting choice of words. He did announce, "oh, but by the way, you can help yourself to the food in the reception hall." After all, it was paid for and hate to have all of that go to waste. The Aftermath: Of course, there was more to the story...my groom and groomsmen brought a young lady in the limosine from the "topless" bar around the corner because "gee wiz, she had never been to a nice wedding"...my aunts locked her in a room with her wine bottle for the ceremony. Since the groomsmen have national recognition, I will refrain from naming names. After all, that was 25 years ago. If they want to own up...they can. My groom ended up in the emergency room and was in grave danger as he had alcohol poisoning. I was given a sleeping pill and woke up the next morning to the news that he was in hospital. I had fully intended to send him there anyway! We parted ways, needless to say. Ok, embarrassing to admit, but we got engaged 2 more times. I called it off a week before and again 2 months before another possible event. Smart move...no regrets. The Bonus: I received invitations to appear on several television shows in several different locations and was even given a trip to Hawaii. The Video: I guess I could post the video if I could figure out how to upload a VHS on YouTube. I will have to work on that!